These days, I am going through a weird phase. All of a sudden, I get too emotional. Even the tackiest of songs brings me to tears! Aah, I hate to be emotional. (Although I am a BPD kind) But, you know this phase is really new to me... I have sleepless nights that can't be called insomnia, because I am half asleep and I keep talking to people whom I dislike the most (I don't even remember the last time I spoke to them). And then, I see things and all of a sudden, they seem important to me. Example, I was traveling by a local train a few days back and I saw a silk cotton tree somewhere far off. That reminded me of the cotton tree that grew near my society. As footpaths were concreted, the tree was massacred or what. I don't even remember. It never came into my notice for years now. But all of a sudden, I thought of it that day when I saw a tall cotton tree from somewhere.
I remember as a child when the the shell like cocoon used to go ripe and the smaller layers of cotton used to sway with the westwind, I used to run behind to catch hold of them. When one of them touched my palm, 'twas a moment of joy. As I grew up, the cotton tree was nowhere in my life. The tree was cut down, the thin cotton flew away from my memories and I was left with nothing by my side. Then, why did it all of a sudden make me so emotional? I have no clue.
But, this makes me ponder. When I used to read poems on nostalgia, of the pain of relocation, I could sympathize with those sad souls. But, I could never understand what it meant by going away from your roots. Now that I am to shift to a new place, post a few months, these thoughts are surrounding me. Aah, I hate to be so emotional. But, nothing can be done. Such is life!
PS: I don't know the right terms for a silk cotton tree or its shell or its layers. Please forgive me if the words used by me are a disaster. :(
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